Movie Review: Magic Mike XXL (2015)

The following is a guest review from… my mum (aka MumFish). Thank God, because I sure as hell didn’t want to have to see this. – MoshFish

magicmikexxl_edit
More like TRagic Mike XXLame.

I’m not ashamed to admit that I watched the first Magic Mike movie – on Foxtel, on a Saturday night, alone on the couch except for my true friends, Peanut M&Ms. It wasn’t hideous, there was a plot of sorts and some very nice abs on show. I gave extra points (as always) for Joe Manganiello.

So when I was offered the chance to go and see Magic Mike XXL as part of a Saturday night fundraiser I was interested enough to invite a gaggle of my ‘older lady’ friends. We paid $30 each for champagne and nibbles, a gift bag (of sorts) and raffle and silent auction opportunities ahead of the movie; so far so good.

The movie opens with good old Mike (Channing Tatum) in his furniture-making warehouse and… unfortunately it is all downhill from there. As a song plays on the radio he remembers his stripper days with a shmultzy, embarrassing, one-man show. (Vom!) Soon enough he is hilariously (not) tricked into meeting up with some of his old stripper crew, ‘The Kings of Tampa’. At this point a bikini-clad girl wearing a football helmet runs around the film set with absolutely no purpose what-so-ever before head-butting Mike and jumping manically on the bed; all while the stripper gang tries to talk Mike into rejoining the crew for one last show. (WTF?) References to the original movie plot fill us in on the whereabouts of Dallas (Matthew McConaughy) and Brooke (Cody Horn) – who had the good sense to stay out of this film.

Without spoiling the story for anyone willing to risk their sanity and waste over two hours of their life – let me just say that Mike joins up with Richie (Joe Manganiello), Ken (Matt Bomer – of the gorgeous eyes and chiseled features), Tito (Adam Rodriguez) and Tarzan (Kevin Nash), as well as a few ‘satellite characters’ and they head off to Myrtle Beach for a stripper convention, having all sorts of fun and funny (again, not) adventures along the way. Mike is photographed by Zoe (Amber Heard) as he pees on the beach, leading to an ongoing love-interest side story, and Big Dick Richie (Joe Manganiello) (as he is known) overcomes an embarrassing ‘bedroom’ problem by having sex with Zoe’s ‘Real Housewives of Georgia’ mother, played by Andie MacDowell. Rome (Jada Pinkett Smith), the owner of what seems to be a tawdry strip club for mostly large African American girls, eventually joins their trusty team and takes The Kings of Tampa all the way to the top at the Myrtle Beach stripper’s convention.

This movie made me squirm… with embarrassment; sigh… with boredom, and apologise profusely to the women I dragged along to see it. Not even the beautiful bodies of the main cast could make up for the appalling script and acting, or the totally over-the-top use of the ‘f’ word. I counted nine in just one sentence!

With a cast full of ‘name’ actors; all I can ask is “What were they thinking?” I give it 1.5 out of 5

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