Movie Review: Exeter (aka The Asylum) (2015)

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The Exeter School of the Feeble Minded has been closed for years now, so when Patrick (Kelly Blatz) is helping Father Conway (Stephen Lang) renovate the site, Patrick’s friends see a perfect opportunity to throw a huge party. Because huge party in an abandoned mental hospital; what could go wrong? When Patrick’s younger brother Rory (Michael Ornsby) sneaks in, he starts acting strange and the would be party goers soon find they are dealing with a demonic possession. Exeter is a 2015 horror film (also known as The Asylum, just to do away with all subtlety) and is directed by horror film mainstay Marcus Nispel in his first original (that is, not a remake) outting.

+ Gage Golightly (one of the only capable actors from recently reviewed Cabin Fever) is Amber, and again one of only two or three actors even worth mentioning. I can’t decide if it is going to be good or bad for her to constantly be the best part of shitty movies
+ certain decision the characters make are so bad I couldn’t help but be wildly entertained but just how desperate they were to do the stupidest things
+ there are a handful of impressive practical effects, and some so-bad-its-good CGI efforts, particularly in some of the silly blood and gore

– Kelly Blatz is Patrick, our well-intentioned protagonist who still manages to come across as an idiot. Something about Blatz performance was very unlikable, which I am certain was not intentional
– Brittany Curran as Reign, a girl Patrick meets at the party. Her acting is stiff, though her appearance was reminding me of someone the whole time I was watching; I think it was Jena Malone, specifically from Donnie Darko
– the plot is generic and full of cliches — abandoned asylum, wild party, and a hidden secret. It loses its steam very early

> Michael Ormsby reminds me of a young Edward Furlong. I think it’s the hair

Should you see this film: Not at all. If you manage to sit through this, you’ll probably need a trip to an asylum by the time you’re finished.

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